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...But I love making new friends. If you see me in a community or just want to be added, comment or add me and you'll almost certainly be added. I just wanted to keep the spam bots away. I'm tired of getting ads for viagra when I'm talking about my kids.

I post publicly at my website http://www.runningnekkid.com/ which is LJ syndicated at runningnekkidfd. That's where I try to do more writing writing, with varying degrees of success. I would love it if you visited me there, too.

I hope you're doing well. And if you're not, I hope that you have good people around you who can help make it bearable until you are well. Thank you for coming by.

I'm a good jobber!

I only have about five minutes before I have to get Iliana from preschool, but I wanted to put a pin in today and celebrate pretty much life.

I have been making so many strides in therapy and have been feeling really good about myself. Well, right this second I'm feeling tired and gross thanks to somebody's child waking up too early and allergy season *hachoo!* but in general everything is falling into place.

Jonas' therapy sessions are productive and positive, even though they are overwhelming for him. (I get that. Therapy, ugh.) Iliana had massive dental work yesterday which you might have seen in my twitter feed, and it was an enormously positive experience. I'm not partying, of course, that Jonas has Autism and Iliana needed so much dental work, but I am partying because I was able to make good decisions with good information that I had at the time, and I am wildly blessed and privileged enough to be in a place in my life that I can provide this care to my children. We are all taken care of. Hooray!

I am going back home for a week next month and that is an enormous weight off my homesick shoulders. I will be doing a lot of things that I want to do, and a lot of things that I need to do, like seeing Dad and Kupuna at the cemetery. We'll be talking to someone at the cemetery to see about having Mom's ashes placed nearby. It's emotional, sure, but it feels really good. As good as this can feel, anyway.

AND I WILL TAKE IT.
ALL.

My tweets

  • Thu, 13:15: Home cuddling with Iliana who did so well at her appointment. We're feeling very lucky and relieved that her dental work is done. Whew!
  • Thu, 14:02: Now I can get back to the important things, like deciding which day I want to go to the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet when I'm back home.
  • Thu, 14:13: Ian is being so tender and gentle and wonderful with his sweet little one and I am all melty and swoony and dear god I love that man.
  • Thu, 14:14: He also brought me fizzy water while she was sleeping on me and I was trapped and sweaty, so that's even more swoon.
  • Thu, 14:17: Also we just confirmed that we had the exact amount of $ left in our flex plan account to cover Iliana's dental work - $1500.
  • Thu, 14:19: Between that and reimbursements for Ian's travel expenses while he was on the National Science Foundation grant panel, what a relief.
  • Thu, 14:20: We'll actually be able to afford exciting things like food while we're on our much anticipated trip back home!
  • Thu, 18:22: Recipe name is baked mahi mahi. Method says saut�e. I don't care either way because u don't throw pineapple on whatever & call it Hawaiian.
  • Thu, 18:24: Translation: congratulations on your shitty recipe also being completely ignorant of actual Hawaiian food! Ten dumbass points, you!
  • Thu, 18:25: Also, there is a delightful difference between Hawaii food and Hawaiian food. Hawaiian food is food of actual traditional Hawaiians.
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My tweets

  • Wed, 12:33: Lole, ilu @kirida - "Three things to do with your mombod this summer" http://t.co/93b9cplrJq
  • Wed, 12:34: (Lol, I mean. Lole? What is that? Can't even blame my fat fingers for that one. Sheesh.)
  • Wed, 12:44: I fricking LOVE the doctor. https://t.co/VqNNKzPJH4
  • Wed, 12:45: Also, @DrJaneChi just reminded me it's time to take my generic Allegra.
  • Wed, 12:48: YES. PLEASE. https://t.co/iyZBLaKLIx
  • Wed, 12:49: Reminded that I left one of my girls in the middle of a really awkward moment. I should probably rescue her. https://t.co/pNSkJVvEuz
  • Wed, 16:40: Jonas came home really agitated about his teacher "nagging" him and I had to help him process that and get back to feeling less aggro.
  • Wed, 16:41: But when he was telling me about all the stuff he said she was getting on him about, I just wanted to high five that teacher.
  • Wed, 16:44: When he's feeling calmer and more open to it, we'll talk about the lessons he does need to take from his teacher's "lecture" etc etc.
  • Wed, 16:45: Which makes it so hard, man! It's kind of like not laughing when Iliana is having one of her hilarious meltdowns.
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  • Mon, 12:00: And from Hawai'i, people *always* feel compelled to tell me ALL ABOUT my homeland. How rich the culture is, blah blah blah.
  • Mon, 12:01: So this grandma tells me how great the language is and says "You know? Humuhumunukunukuapua'a?" I smile. Saying that fish's name is a feat.
  • Mon, 12:02: And then I tell her how happy I am that there are ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi immersion schools now. Those didn't exist when I was a child.
  • Mon, 12:02: And I mention that my parents insisted we speak, not just English, but *proper* English so we could be "competitive" in the economy.
  • Mon, 12:03: The grandma interrupts me with a *giant* eyeroll that makes her whole head turn. She says, "Well hello, people, you can speak BOTH."
  • Mon, 12:05: I blink. Look at her and say "Well, when an oppressive system outlaws the indigenous language, it's not that simple."
  • Mon, 12:06: And I was super proud of myself for saying something, because just a few years ago I would have just blinked, nodded, and walked away.
  • Mon, 12:08: And I know she may have been agreeing with me and the "people" she was hello-ing to may have been the colonizers, but
  • Mon, 12:10: Her statement was in direct response to me saying my parents dismissed my learning ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, so that's how I took it.
  • Mon, 12:24: Ian keeps walking by telling me to get ready for grocery shopping and all I want to do it tweet. Man, adulting sucks so hardcore sometimes.
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My tweets

  • Sun, 12:42: RT @KelliAgodon: For Women Writers & Poets: Submit Like a Man: How Woman Writers Can Become More Successful https://t.co/NhQYzM0va7 #Sunday
  • Sun, 16:31: Anything to make her happy. https://t.co/8lk8t70kRA
  • Mon, 11:24: My brother isn't answering texts or calls. Thinking of sending a hula-gram to his work to get his attention.
  • Mon, 11:25: (Iliana's halau offers hula-grams and OMG.) (Also, this may be why my brother doesn't talk to me.)
  • Mon, 11:57: Talking to @fangirlJeanne about language and accents reminds me of a conversation I had at the park a couple of weeks ago.
  • Mon, 11:57: Talking to the grandma of one of Iliana's friends and she starts asking where I'm from, etc etc.
  • Mon, 11:58: If you're from a place marketed as an "exotic" paradise, you might be able to relate when I say whenever I tell someone I'm Hawaiian-

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My tweets

  • Sat, 12:55: RT @anne_theriault: Real talk: is Mercury ever not in retrograde? Because I feel like every time I turn around everyone's blaming shit on M…
  • Sat, 13:24: Ian is home! Went to hula, brunch, then got new shoes. Now he & Iliana are at the Burke to look at dinosaurs. I am making a grocery list.
  • Sat, 13:24: In other words: we are boring but happy.
  • Sat, 13:33: I missed Ian so much. He was only away for a few days, but it was tough. The solo parenting was hectic, but actually a lot of fun!
  • Sat, 13:34: Being without my dude was not. I went to bed early and got tons of sleep, so that was great. But, oh man. Life is so rad when Ian is here.
  • Sat, 13:35: He lets me talk his ear off about indigenous issues and political blah blah blah then show him this house in Palolo we need to buy STAT.
  • Sat, 13:36: I tell him my crazy fantasies (going back to school for Pacific Islands Studies) and he says "Let's figure out how to make that work."
  • Sat, 13:38: And then he regales me with all sorts of really terrible dad joke puns and I roll my eyes and pretend I don't think they're hilarious.
  • Sat, 14:18: RT @shannonfisher: The most radical thing women can do is take up space. Own their own narratives. Stop apologizing for existing. @anne_the
  • Sat, 14:19: RT @shannonfisher: As I take up space, the more hate comes at me. & the more I know how important is for women to take up space. @anne_ther
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  • Fri, 13:41: Kahoolawe Commission needs $100,000 by June 15 or it will close access to island http://t.co/dZhg0yfhp0 via @MauiTime
  • Fri, 14:06: Sitting here trying to clean up my face from crying and the exterminator knocks on my door to let me know he'll be doing an ant treatment.
  • Fri, 14:07: He then tells me we should take care of the weeds and stuff alongside the house. I'm like, yeah, I know, we have a lot of work to do.
  • Fri, 14:08: And I feel like I know my life is a shambles my yard is a shambles my house is a shambles why do I ever bother trying blah blah blah.
  • Fri, 14:09: Phone in therapy session was brutal. I cried more than I have ever cried during a session. Ever.
  • Fri, 14:09: 25 years ago this week I lost the boy who came into my life like a light during a cold, deep, darkness. https://t.co/kYY30b5NPU
  • Fri, 14:13: The fact that Josh died in his sleep at fifteen makes the whole universe feel like raw sewage.
  • Fri, 14:15: The heaviness of everything right now isn't lost on me. Ian is away this week and I am alone. Jonas is 15 now, the last age Josh ever knew.
  • Fri, 14:18: And now I have to play a board game with Iliana, which is good for both of us.
  • Fri, 16:43: Dad doing needlepoint while waiting for his kid to be done with gymnastics. I am jealous of his skillz, yo.

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